So the holiday season has begun, right? I got the day off paid, so that's pretty cool - didn't do much, stayed home, ate some ham, roasted some veg, heated up a pie. I worked mostly and it's going well, no big complaints, interesting work, nice people for the most part, so not much to report there.

I've been thinking alot about life lately, and even now in my 50s, I can still learn new perspectives and change my own view on myself as well as others and I think that's how you grow. "So I've got that going for me, which is nice." - Carl Spackler😉

I like that I go through phases of my moods in music - I also love how easy it is nowadays to have the luxury of having the exact music you want to hear at all times instantly. When I was a kid, one of my absolute favorite hobbies was listening to the radio and capturing my favorite songs on my cassette recorder so I could listen to what I wanted to without money. I used to have a whole collection I'd made over the years, and a spiral notebook that I had catalogued each tape in and what songs were on each, along with artist info, and any other details I wanted to add. Fun times. What am I listening to right now? Currently, "Baby Come Back" by Player, and you're welcome to check it out for yourselves: Player - Baby Come Back

 Not a whole lot to report right now, work is going alright, daily life is less challenging at the moment, and I'm just trying to get into the new routine. Doing some upgrades on my room and work environment, but as most things, it will take time.

I'm trying to focus more on my close friends and staying in contact on a regular basis. I want them to know I care about what's going on in their lives too. I just want to get into a daily routine of work, rest, and peace of mind. 

Things are looking up

 As I sit here typing this, I'm currently in a training class for a new position I landed at my job. Same company, different department - along with a pay raise, and I gotta tell you - the difference is like night and day! Everyone is super nice and welcoming, the tools are completely different and there's so many resources available. The other position was alright, but this new opportunity is interesting, fun, and I'm having a great time learning everything.
The house is unpacked - and it looks pretty decent! I really like my new space here, the only thing I'm lacking is a good bed. I'm not a stranger to second hand, so if you're in my area and have an old bed you don't want anymore, I'd be glad to take it off your hands, lol

Other than that, it's moved on til the next day and its 44 degrees in Houston, Texas - got a hot cup of tea next to me and I'm about to log on for another day 

Peace, my friends.

 It's been a few days.... I've been working a lot, unpacking boxes, and trying to get things into some sort of coherent order. 

 My friend John's son Jordan came and helped Tom move the rest of the furniture. They finished around 4pm so it appears that after 100 minor disasters and 8 or 10 major disasters, we might have most of our stuff.

So, it's all here. We ate pizza and passed out around 7:30 last night - now its a little after 5am and I'm up and drinking coffee, getting ready for work. Training is over so I can just log on, take my calls and not have to worry about looking good or being on video or any meetings and I am here for it.

 So now I was just informed that the people that were supposed to help move the furniture have bailed out. Now I'm expected to do it and I am just utterly fucked. My only fucking day off and forget getting to rest I am so mad about this move and I'm angry and I want to blame people. 

I was also just informed that my desk won't be coming to the new place, because it's been destroyed now too. So I guess I get to do my job with no desk. Great.

 So we made it to Friday morning. I'm having such a hard time keeping my anxiety at bay, and was accused yesterday of "looking for things to worry about". Wow. The biggest thing I think, is feeling this way and not being able to shake it, and knowing that if I reach out, I'm told stuff like that so what's the point? Then I just spiral back down into it. I've been leaning HARD on a technique that Navy Seals use called "box breathing". It's so simple but it does seem to help. The Balance app on my phone is also a life saver for me in these situations, so if you struggle the way I do, I recommend giving some of these ideas a try yourself.

The furniture? Yeah, it's still at the old apartment. We have kept the Uhaul for two more days but I am running out of money, ya'll, and I still need to make rent for Nov. 1st. 

Work is its own separate bullshit deal right now - the actual taking of calls is nothing, super easy - it's just all the other crap you have to deal with, I'm trying to hang on. I'm hoping on my one day off tomorrow that Tom can get a couple of people to help with the damned furniture. I'm sick of thinking and worrying about this shit. 

Work calls in about fifteen so I gotta go get that last cigarette in. 

More later.