The last few days have been rough. Losing Tony was hard enough on it's own, but I got some additional bad news as well as an unfortunate event that has left me in the midst of some very heavy duty anxiety and depression. Due to my health further declining (that's as much detail as I'm willing to give right now), I am going to be tendering my resignation at my job today. I am really upset to have to give this job up altogether - I was really hoping and trying to make it work so that I could continue to work as a disabled person, but it was not meant to be. At the time of this writing, I have not told them yet, but will be having a meeting with my manager later this morning and will break the news then.

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Two hours later:

I had the meeting and they were so kind. They are going to take the steps necessary to make sure I'm rehire eligible, so I'm really grateful for that. It's a good company, and I will definitely miss my job there.

In other news, I've been spending a huge amount of time on the Neebs Gaming Discord server, and met some nice people and we've started trying out a couple of games together. I really need that in my life right now, so yeah - and especially being other members of the Neebs Gaming community makes it even better. 

I'm going to do some resting up because working the last few months has been very hard on me physically as well as mentally so I'm due for a rest. 

For now, I'm gonna grab some food and meet back up with my gaming friends - see ya soon.

Long Live the Wyvern King

I just found out the news that Tony "Thick44" Schnur has lost his battle with cancer. I can't even begin to express the grief and shock I am feeling right now. Neebs Gaming has been a really big part of my life for several years, and one of my goals is to attend one of their live events someday. I have laughed with these guys and they have gotten me through some really dark times. Thick44, aka the Wyvenrn King, was a gifted and talented person who gave so much entertainment to the world and it is definitely a sadder place without him in it. I've been having a lot of trouble with depression and anxiety recently and finding this out in the midst of it is pretty unbearable right now. My heart goes out to Tony's family and the Neebs Gaming family because I cannot even begin to imagine how hard this is for them.

I posted six videos to my YouTube channel, and while I'm proud of it, I've also learned a few things: 1. It's a lot of fun 2. It's very complicated. 3. It's something I'll return to off and on, but it's not my passion. Passion. Is it necessary to have a passion in life? I've been thinking a great deal about that lately. So I've started doing a little research, watched some TedTalks and some other YouTube vids, and I started learning more about what a passion is and more importantly, what it is not. When I start thinking about the things I enjoy the most and what I keep going back to, things like reading, video gaming, science fiction, fantasy, spiritual growth - and I decided to follow some advice based on the research I've done and started revisiting some of these things that I love so much and try to find what other things relate to them and go even further. Right now, I've been lead back to languages and linguistics. So of course, back to the interwebs to do more research and maybe take a couple of free online courses and see where that leaves me. If I seem vague here, it's on purpose. Hope your endeavors in life are going well. Till next time!